Mickey gaped at the Doctor, his mouth wordlessly opening and closing a few times as he tried to make sense of what the Time Lord had just said. "What do you mean, we have to get married?"
"It's the only way to find out where they've taken Rose." The Doctor glanced at the group of aliens standing nearby. They had moved away to give the two of them some privacy, but they looked somewhat interested in what was going on between the two travelers. "And could you keep your voice down?
"That doesn't answer my question!" Mickey hissed back.
The Doctor shot him a familiar look, one that was a mixture of slight exasperation and . . . well, not-so-slight exasperation. "Offworlders aren't allowed here unless they have a partner."
Mickey stared at him. "Then why the hell are we here?"
"You really should keep your voice down," the Doctor repeated. "And we're here because there's nowhere else to easily find certain parts that I need to fix the TARDIS."
"Why did you let Rose go off by herself then?"
A sheepish look appeared on the Doctor's face at his question.
"Oh, I see," Mickey said, gesturing toward the nearby aliens. He didn't try to hide his sarcasm. "You didn't have a clue where we were until you saw the Goat People, did you?"
The Doctor ignored him. "The ceremony's only binding in 0.01% of the universe," he said reassuringly. "And that's only until the sixty-third century or so."
Mickey closed his eyes for a moment and counted to ten. "Earth's not one of the places where it's binding, right?" he asked as he reopened them.
The Doctor didn't quite meet his gaze.
"Right?" Mickey repeated.
"It depends," the Doctor said reluctantly. He glanced over at the aliens and quickly planted a big smile on his face. "Do you think you'll still be alive in 2075?"
Mickey glared at him. "I hate you."
"I said to keep your voice down," the Doctor said out of the corner of his mouth, his smile never fading. "And try to smile, will you? The Tecytans don't like it when things don't run smoothly."
Quickly lowering his voice, Mickey forced a weak smile. "And how exactly do you know that?"
The Doctor had the good grace to look a little embarrassed. "Like I said earlier, this is one of the best places in the galaxy to get certain parts for the TARDIS."
Mickey raised an eyebrow. "Just how many people are you married to?"
"Oh, dozens," the Doctor replied with a shrug. "If it makes you feel any better, most of them weren't any happier about it than you."
Then suddenly he grabbed Mickey by the arm and pulled him over to where the aliens were standing.
"Hey!" Mickey protested. "What are you doing?"
The Doctor ignored him, instead focusing on the tallest of the aliens. "Are you the matron?"
The alien nodded.
Without saying a word, the Doctor grabbed Mickey and planted a firm kiss straight on his lips. Mickey let out a quiet "oomph" of surprise, but he didn't fight back.
He was almost disappointed when the Doctor pulled away a second or two later.
The matron, whoever she was, nodded at them and turned away. The others followed, none of them speaking as they walked back toward the city that rested in the distance.
Mickey raised an eyebrow. "That's it?" he asked incredulously. "All it takes to get married is a kiss?"
The Doctor shrugged, grinning a little.
"What's it take to get a divorce then?" Mickey prompted.
"Ah," the Doctor said, his grin fading. "I don't think you want to know."
Mickey Smith/Tenth Doctor
"It's the only way to find out where they've taken Rose." The Doctor glanced at the group of aliens standing nearby. They had moved away to give the two of them some privacy, but they looked somewhat interested in what was going on between the two travelers. "And could you keep your voice down?
"That doesn't answer my question!" Mickey hissed back.
The Doctor shot him a familiar look, one that was a mixture of slight exasperation and . . . well, not-so-slight exasperation. "Offworlders aren't allowed here unless they have a partner."
Mickey stared at him. "Then why the hell are we here?"
"You really should keep your voice down," the Doctor repeated. "And we're here because there's nowhere else to easily find certain parts that I need to fix the TARDIS."
"Why did you let Rose go off by herself then?"
A sheepish look appeared on the Doctor's face at his question.
"Oh, I see," Mickey said, gesturing toward the nearby aliens. He didn't try to hide his sarcasm. "You didn't have a clue where we were until you saw the Goat People, did you?"
The Doctor ignored him. "The ceremony's only binding in 0.01% of the universe," he said reassuringly. "And that's only until the sixty-third century or so."
Mickey closed his eyes for a moment and counted to ten. "Earth's not one of the places where it's binding, right?" he asked as he reopened them.
The Doctor didn't quite meet his gaze.
"Right?" Mickey repeated.
"It depends," the Doctor said reluctantly. He glanced over at the aliens and quickly planted a big smile on his face. "Do you think you'll still be alive in 2075?"
Mickey glared at him. "I hate you."
"I said to keep your voice down," the Doctor said out of the corner of his mouth, his smile never fading. "And try to smile, will you? The Tecytans don't like it when things don't run smoothly."
Quickly lowering his voice, Mickey forced a weak smile. "And how exactly do you know that?"
The Doctor had the good grace to look a little embarrassed. "Like I said earlier, this is one of the best places in the galaxy to get certain parts for the TARDIS."
Mickey raised an eyebrow. "Just how many people are you married to?"
"Oh, dozens," the Doctor replied with a shrug. "If it makes you feel any better, most of them weren't any happier about it than you."
Then suddenly he grabbed Mickey by the arm and pulled him over to where the aliens were standing.
"Hey!" Mickey protested. "What are you doing?"
The Doctor ignored him, instead focusing on the tallest of the aliens. "Are you the matron?"
The alien nodded.
Without saying a word, the Doctor grabbed Mickey and planted a firm kiss straight on his lips. Mickey let out a quiet "oomph" of surprise, but he didn't fight back.
He was almost disappointed when the Doctor pulled away a second or two later.
The matron, whoever she was, nodded at them and turned away. The others followed, none of them speaking as they walked back toward the city that rested in the distance.
Mickey raised an eyebrow. "That's it?" he asked incredulously. "All it takes to get married is a kiss?"
The Doctor shrugged, grinning a little.
"What's it take to get a divorce then?" Mickey prompted.
"Ah," the Doctor said, his grin fading. "I don't think you want to know."
Requests: Evelyn Smythe/Sarah Jane Smith, Fifth Doctor/Nyssa, Jake Simmonds/Mickey Smith/Rose Tyler